Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You pole danced in your parka.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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