yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Sober January is a disaster.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
