exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
