It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
