When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
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So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
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there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize