No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
