She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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