Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
