I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
