Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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