Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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