You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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