Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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