it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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