Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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