She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
