I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
