you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
did i just pee glitter
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
