Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
