Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
