brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
