I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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