what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I wish there were birth control emojis
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
