ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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