It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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