I'm gonna have a badass scar
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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