I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
