nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
