if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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