I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
