That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
