So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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