It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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