Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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