They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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