goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
