Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
