from now on my penis is your penis
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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