watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize