She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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