Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
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After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
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Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
There are leaves in my underwear?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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