Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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