He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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