Three words: puerto rican gang bang
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
