Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
