I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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