so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
