Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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