do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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