we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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