i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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