We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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