I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you didnt know i had herpes?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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