who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
