i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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